Keeping Cool

The Weekend Picture No. 52

Splash Down!

As the UK basks in heatwave conditions we have been desparately seeking relief from 2 weeks of 25 degree plus temperatures.

We have experimented with windows open and windows closed. We have closed curtains in the middle of the day and dressed in outfits we wouldn't want to be seen in in public. We have even played havoc with the environment by turning on our car's disappointing aircon.

This weekend we went camping in the depths of Sussex. On the Saturday we visited one of those tree shrouded river banks that Mark Twain used to write about.

The Dubmeister and one of the Signs of Spring made use of a rope swing which appeared to have grown down from one the trees that shrouded the bank. The Dubmeister was particularly keen to fall from the swing into the water - doing it over and over again until his skin turned blue and his teeth chattered.

Tom Sawyer would have been proud.

Speak soon.
JH

You Can Tell They're Growing Up When ... You Can't Do Their Homework

Happy Days!

As a diligent parent I have always been more than happy to help my kids with their homework. Listening to my loved ones' reading has always been a joy, reading back their latest piece of fiction is never a chore and sitting alongside them as they puzzle through a page of sums is one of life's pleasures.

Until now!

The Dubmeister has now hit 13 3/4 and the Dubmeister is very good at Maths.

He is so good at Maths that he is in the top set for the subject and regularly outperforms his top set classmates in tests. The Maths that he does is far beyond number lines and times tables.

He is into Quadratic Equations, Sohcahtoa and Pi.

He has reached that stage when Mathematics becomes a language that only the very fortunate understand.

I did not realise this fact yesterday when I offered to test him for an upcoming test. I confidently expected to be able to ask him some tricky and yet fairly straightforward sums, perhaps a little bit of simple algebra, before sitting him down to a lesson on how to discover the answer to that perennial question: "What does x equal?"

It didn't work out as expected.

Working out the angles of polygons and parallel lines was simple enough. But then came Factorising, Multiplying Out Brackets and (horrifically) Using N to work out Quadratic Sequences.

Trying desperately to maintain my dignity I decided to ask him to teach me just how to use N to work out a Quadratic Sequence - nodding sagely every time he paused for breath. However, within 30 seconds I realised that I had lost focus and had no idea where N fitted into a Quadratic Sequence. Or even, what on earth a Quadratic Sequence is.

My horror enfolded further when I realised that he had stopped talking and was asking me just how I would use N to work out a Quadratic Sequence.

Being a proud man I tried to bluster out an incoherent answer that could possibly sound like I had been listening and understanding everything my son and heir had been patiently explaining.

But he wasn't fooled.

"So Dad," he said, sighing patiently at his dopey father, "if we take that all into account, what does 3 take away 2 equal?"

"3?"

It is when you find your son explaining his homework to you a second time only this time more slowly and with pauses for questions to ensure that you are still listening - that you realise that life has changed for ever.

No longer can I claim the wisdom of the elders over him  in all things. I may well have 29 years on him, however, when it comes to Quadratic Sequences I cannot hold a candle to his youthful understanding. It has passed into the misty, forgotten corners of my teenage school experience - like many things mathematical.

Speak soon
JH

PS There are more musings on "You can tell they're growing up when ..." here.

That Is a Mad Eye Deer

The Weekend Picture No. 43

Mad Eye Deer at Longleat

We were at Longleat Safari Park two weeks ago.

We saw lions, rhinoceroses and hippoes. Our car was sat on by monkeys and we had meerkats ducking between our feet. We laughed at the porcupines and the anteater.

But the highlight for the Dubmeister was Mad Eye Deer. Halfway round you get to pay to feed the deer. You pull onto the side of the road and, in a reverse of a MacDonalds' Drive Thru the Deer gather by your car window, mouths open, napkins around their necks and knives and forks at the ready.

The greediest of the deer was Mad Eye who worked her way through our bag of treats without pausing for breath.

She is called Mad Eye Deer because  ... Well, you see if you can work it out.

Speak soon

JH

To The Best Mum In The World

The Weekend Picture No. 38

I thought I would let the Dubmeister and the Signs of Spring write today's post. These are the messages they wrote into their cards for my lovely wife this morning:

The Dubmeister  wrote:

Thankyou for being such an AMAZING mum, and for helping me even when I stropped and slammed the door. (I didn't mean it)

M slipped the following letter into her card:

You are the best mummy in the world, you could break the world record for chatting, you could be the best ever teacher, you can win the Great British Bake Off and you are good at keeping cheerful when it's raining at Legoland.

She also made a multi-coloured button bracelet.

E made a 3D card with the message:

"I love you" said M. "I Love you even more" said E. "You are funny always" said W. "You are like a butterfly." said Daddy.

Speak soon
JH

You Can Tell They're Growing Up When ... You Teach Them To Shave!

Featuring A Review Of Milk By Michael Klim

I can still remember the day The Dubmeister was born - nearly 163 months ago. I can remember sitting next to my lovely wife, doing my best to recall the lessons we had been taught about breathing in NCT classes and hoping against hope that he would be ok. Then I remember holding him in my arms for the first time and gazing at him and thanking God for this perfect bundle. I remember changing him for the very first time - cotton wool poised in a strategic position, just in case - and marvelling at just how perfect his skin was. I remember thinking that there would not be another time when his skin would be blemish free and free of cuts and bruises.

That seems a long way away now.

The Dubmeister now has a history and the Dubmeister now has hair in new places - under his armpits, on his chest and now on his face!

You really can tell they're growing up when you teach them to shave.

So far, we only really need to shave his upper lip. So far, he only really needs to shave on the first Monday of the month. Still, it seems a big step - he is shaving. We have broken through yet another barrier.

I have taught him to lather the foam in his hands and rub it into the target area. To contort his face as if he is a Spitting Image puppet and to lure out those stubborn hairs that hide in the shadows cast by his nostrils.

I am proud (and surprised) to say that he hasn't cut himself yet - he must have a great teacher!

We have been learning to shave with a luxurious new product called Moisturising Shave Milk by Michael Klim from his Milk range. It is available to buy from Boots for £11.95 and boasts of containing the oils of Peppermint Gum, Coconut and Menthol Geranium! It gives you a rich shave and because it moisturises as you shave it avoids the problem of burning red post shave skin I can still feel as I recall my earliest shaves. You do feel like you are using a premium product.

The Dubmeister also made use of a packet of Scrub and Cleanse Wipes from the same range to tackle his increasingly teenage skin. They come in packs of 25 and Dubmeister used them morning and night for 2 weeks. One side of the wipe contains Exfoliating Wipe Beads - it feels like you are wiping your face with a beach whilst the other has a smoother surface to clean away daily residue.

Both Dubmeister and I loved this product - and his skin did too - it looks clearer now than it did a fortnight ago. A packet of 25 Scrub and Cleanse wipes is currently on for £9.95 at Boots. One word of  warning though - don't leave the packet open or the wipes will dry out very quickly!

Speak soon
JH

PS You can read more tales of kids growing up quickly here.

The Weekend Picture No.18

The Dubmeister brings a little bit of Cornwall home with him.

 The Dubmeister was away for the last fortnight of August. He was camping with a brilliant Christian boys organisation called Urban Saints.

He went mountain boarding, wave jumping and hiking. He sat around camp fires, ate enormous breakfasts and bundled with his mates.

Mostly he had fun and came back a happier, more confident, and yet slightly dirtier person.

His tent was flooded out one night and he mostly wore flip flops around the sodden camp site so when he came home I just had to take a picture of his feet.

It's great to have him home.

Speak Soon
JH

PS You can read about the Dubmeister's bedroom tidying exploits here

You can tell they're growing up when ... helping means helping.

Dad and little Dubmeister painting Baby M's room - 2002

When the Dubmeister was little there was nothing he liked more than helping his Dad construct or paint stuff. At the first sight of a set of tools he would roll his sleeves up, run up the stairs and return clutching his bright yellow JCB stickered tool box complete with saw, hammer and spanner.

He would then dive into the task, insist on doing whatever I was doing, make funny little noises and engage in builder type small talk.

They were special times. I particularly loved the deep respect he had for my DIY skills.