You Can Tell They're Growing Up When ... You Worry About Different Stuff

When the Dubmeister was born he brought untold joy and excitement. We marvelled at his chubby little fingers, his gorgeous gurgling noises, his perfect skin and that indescribeable smell with which all babies are blessed.

It was one of the best days of our lives.

(c) Roger Hargreaves

But, when a baby enters your life he also introduces a whole new level of worry. You worry about everything - from the temperature of his bedroom to the number of times he feeds via the evil inferiority complex creating myths propagated by millionaires made rich by writing books about how to raise the perfect baby. 

We even worried that our cat would devote himself to finding an opportunity to go to sleep on baby Dubmeister's face. Of course he didn't as that would involve being in the same room as the tiny screaming banshee that we had introduced into the house which was obviously out of the question!

At the same time well meaning friends and family reassured us that the phase would soon pass and that as the Dubmeister grew so would the worries pass and life would become a worry free Disneyland where the sun always shone and Dubmeister developed at a textbook rate.

They were wrong!

When a baby grows up you cease to worry about the temperature of his bedroom and the number of times he feeds and you soon realise that the books written by childcare experts are designed to create a sense of panic in the minds of couples going through the most intensely stressful sleep deprived period of their lives. However, that does not mean the worry stops. It just means that the focus of worry changes.

What we worry about now

• So now, rather than worrying about the temperature of his bedroom we worry about what he gets up to in there instead!
• Instead of worrying about how often he feeds we worry about how often he sits down to do his homework. Is he doing enough? Could he do more? Shouldn't he be doing better?
• Rather than fretting over an evil cat who is determined to kill him by fur suffocation we worry about the evils of alcohol and drugs and pick up leaflets from Doctor surgeries and school reception areas which raise the stress levels even further.

I remember as a kid noticing that, if you caught a glimpse of my mum and her friends when they didn't know anybody was looking at them, you could see a far-away, concerned expression on their faces.

Now I am a parent I know why they looked like that. They were parents, they were worried. The two states of mind go together. No matter what the age of your kids might be. Be they four months, fourteen or forty you worry about them.

Speak soon
JH

Screaming Child on Public Transport Dilemma

The perfect scene for a 4 year old tantrum

 Picture the scene.

A packed commuter train out of London. Not a seat left to be had. Rain teeming down outside. Passengers immersed in newspapers or electronic devices.

You join the train with your 4 year old.

You have just had a great day doing London's sights - Natural History Museum, 10 minutes on a double decker bus and then an additive packed tea at Burger King, Waterloo. It has been a memorable day.

But days like that come with small print. You are exhausted. You would like nothing better now than to sit on one of those occupied seats and fall asleep reading Metro's "Guilty Pleasures". But, a) there is nowhere to sit, b) 4 year old is wide awake and c) Since another kid pressed the "please let me off the bus" button on the double decker he has been in one of those moods. Nothing has been good enough.

The train is not blue. The Burger King meal toy was the wrong variety and he has just remembered that you said no to buying him the roaring dinosaur at the Natural History museum shop.

So, he kicks off. He complains about the colour of the train, he asks for another sweet and then when it becomes clear that you are not going to do anything to meet either of these perfectly reasonable demands he launches into a high pitched, peak volume tirade about how unfair everything is.

How do you respond?

I ask the question because this is the situation which faced my Dad on the way home from London recently. He was stood next to the father who was the object of said tirade on a packed train out of Waterloo station.

The father's response was not to snap back at his son with the righteous fury of a weary parent, nor was it to admonish the boy in any way whatsoever. Rather, the dad's response to his son's tirade was to ignore him.

The son eventually got the message and calmed down - but my dad had to endure the screaming which ensued whilst the message got through.

But, is that the right thing to do in a packed commuter train? By ignoring the child, was this well intentioned father actually subjecting the rest of the train to an ear bashing which a) they did not deserve and b) ruined their journey home?

Should we modify our disciplinary strategies to the situations in which we find ourselves? Or is consistency the key?


Speak soon
JH

PS I am delighted to announce that Dad Etc has been shortlisted for the Brilliance in Blogging Family Blogger Award run by Britmums - hence the rather flashy looking button at the top of the Blog. I am up against some very tough competition (15 mummy bloggers and me - it takes a brave man!) so would be eternally in your debt if you felt that this blog was worth a vote. You can vote by clicking on the button above or by clicking here. Thank you so much - and fingers crossed.

You can tell they're growing up ...When Dad isn't always right!

Taken from Centre Parcs website

Being the Dad of a small person can be very good for one's ego. I spoke last week about my promotion to DIY demigod in little Dubmeister's eyes. He loved to mimic me and work alongside his guru as he sought to learn from the master. You can revisit that post here.

The second reason why the fatherhood of the very young does wonders for one's ego is that in our preschooler's eyes we are never wrong.

The Night The Tooth Fairy Didn't Come!

E lost a tooth last night. She carefully placed the tooth in a sealed box which was placed lovingly under her pillow in anticipation of a visit from the Tooth Fairy.

The Tooth Fairy did not come!

This is E's take on why the Tooth Fairy did not come last night.

Speak soon.
JH

PS Follow me on Twitter @MisterH14 to find out whether the Tooth Fairy remembered tonight!
 

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Boys and Girls Are Different

As a father of 1 boy and 2 girls I feel qualified to state the obvious:

Boys and Girls are Different.

It has not always been fashionable to make this assertion. In the world of "Political Correctness Gone Mad" - the risk of saying that boys and girls are just plain different was a frankly dangerous thing to do. But then, that was to avoid the obvious conclusion that boys and girls are, indeed, different.

Here are my 5 reasons for stating the obvious.

Watching Football with kids

"I love those sofa based footy fans with kids." From BBC Sport.

There is a forgotten army of men who continue to play a valued and yet unheralded role in the sporting prowess of this great nation. They sacrifice their time, money and energies in the pursuit of sporting excellence. They are of course, the sofa based footy fans with kids.

Before we had children watching football was straight forward. Open the fridge, find a beer, pop open a bag of Doritos, switch on the telly, sit down and .................. watch.

Aaaah the good old days.

Watching footy now is no longer the straight forward process it used to be.