You Can Tell They're Growing Up When ... You Can't Do Their Homework

Happy Days!

As a diligent parent I have always been more than happy to help my kids with their homework. Listening to my loved ones' reading has always been a joy, reading back their latest piece of fiction is never a chore and sitting alongside them as they puzzle through a page of sums is one of life's pleasures.

Until now!

The Dubmeister has now hit 13 3/4 and the Dubmeister is very good at Maths.

He is so good at Maths that he is in the top set for the subject and regularly outperforms his top set classmates in tests. The Maths that he does is far beyond number lines and times tables.

He is into Quadratic Equations, Sohcahtoa and Pi.

He has reached that stage when Mathematics becomes a language that only the very fortunate understand.

I did not realise this fact yesterday when I offered to test him for an upcoming test. I confidently expected to be able to ask him some tricky and yet fairly straightforward sums, perhaps a little bit of simple algebra, before sitting him down to a lesson on how to discover the answer to that perennial question: "What does x equal?"

It didn't work out as expected.

Working out the angles of polygons and parallel lines was simple enough. But then came Factorising, Multiplying Out Brackets and (horrifically) Using N to work out Quadratic Sequences.

Trying desperately to maintain my dignity I decided to ask him to teach me just how to use N to work out a Quadratic Sequence - nodding sagely every time he paused for breath. However, within 30 seconds I realised that I had lost focus and had no idea where N fitted into a Quadratic Sequence. Or even, what on earth a Quadratic Sequence is.

My horror enfolded further when I realised that he had stopped talking and was asking me just how I would use N to work out a Quadratic Sequence.

Being a proud man I tried to bluster out an incoherent answer that could possibly sound like I had been listening and understanding everything my son and heir had been patiently explaining.

But he wasn't fooled.

"So Dad," he said, sighing patiently at his dopey father, "if we take that all into account, what does 3 take away 2 equal?"

"3?"

It is when you find your son explaining his homework to you a second time only this time more slowly and with pauses for questions to ensure that you are still listening - that you realise that life has changed for ever.

No longer can I claim the wisdom of the elders over him  in all things. I may well have 29 years on him, however, when it comes to Quadratic Sequences I cannot hold a candle to his youthful understanding. It has passed into the misty, forgotten corners of my teenage school experience - like many things mathematical.

Speak soon
JH

PS There are more musings on "You can tell they're growing up when ..." here.

Helping Your Teen Revise

The sun made a brief appearance approximately 1 week ago, the hayfever sprites have started to play havoc with your nostrils and wasps have returned to ruin your picnics.

All these phenomena can only indicate one thing:

Exams are here.

And with exams comes revision.

Some parents are born lucky. Their children take to revision like ducks take to water. Those parents can skip this post, pat themselves on the back and pour themselves a long, cold G+T to celebrate instead. But for the rest of us - this is the Dad Etc guide to helping your teen revise for their summer exams.

1. Find them a place to study

Routine is really important to establish early for the studying teen - and routine includes studying in the same place as much as possible where their books and stationary are easy to hand. If they're lucky it will be a desk in the bedroom - if not a quiet space at a table downstairs. Commit that space to them for the duration of the revision period.

2. Help them to plan their study

It's really important that teens have a study plan that they stick to. Help them create a revision timetable by identifying the subjects that need the most work - this website might help - and then hold them accountable. Display the timetable on the kitchen fridge and speak to them about how it went each night.

3. Make sure they make time to play

Revision for exams can become all encompassing - however - Jack was not a dull boy because he found time to play alongside his 9-5 drudgery. Make sure your teen is taking time off - for some that will be easier than others!

4. Build in praise and reward

The weeks of revision can stretch before your teen like the Sahara before a parched explorer without an oasis in sight. Look for opportunities to praise and reward your teen. Buy in their favourite treats, rent their favourite movie, cook them their favourite meal. A little goes a long way in incentivising the revising teen.

5. Partner with them

Revising is a solitary and sometimes frustrating task. It is so much easier when you know that there is someone else going through it with you. Promise to partner with your teen in their revision. Offer to test them, learn with them and learn from them (one of the most effective techniques to reinforce learning is to teach another - offer to be their pupil). Talk to them about their progress every day and walk their revision walk with them.

Good luck to you both!

Speak soon
JH

Making the Most of Parent Teacher Consultation Evenings

As the days grow longer and the term draws to a close the thoughts of teachers, parents and pupils turn to Parents Evenings.

Are there any 2 words that can strike such fear and trepidation into the hearts of parents than "Parents Evening" (or Academic Review Days if you selected a whizzy school for your offspring.)

And yet Parents Evenings need not be such a frightening reminder of the inadequacy of our own school days - rather they should be taken as an opportunity to build a working relationship with the adult(s) we entrust with the education of our pride and joys.

As a parent and teacher with over 1,000 parental consultations under my belt, here are my 5 top tips for making the most of Parent Teacher Consultation Meetings.

1. Go

There are not many opportunities in the school year to meet with your child's teacher to discuss their education. Most senior schools give you one opportunity per year, junior schools and the more forward thinking secondaries might give you 2 or even 3. So when the opportunity comes, grab it! What does it say to your child about the value you place on his/her education if you cannot be bothered to find out how they are getting on at school? It was no accident that the school I taught at with the worst record for behaviour and academic performance was also the school with the lowest turn out at Parents Evenings (30% at one Year 8 evening). This is a particularly important role for Dads to play. We are so often absent when it comes to our kids school lives so lets take these opportunities when they present themselves.

2. Do your research

The best consultations I hold are with parents who have done their research. Sit down with your child before the evening and find out about what they have been doing in class. What do they enjoy? What do they find difficult? Have a look on the school website and get the gist of the syllabus on offer. A teacher is much more likely to step away from the safety of bland pronouncements about how well your child is doing if you can ask them questions about specific aspects of the work they have been doing this term

3. Ask what you can do to help

I love it when parents ask me this question. It shows that you care and that you see yourself as playing an important role in the education of your child. Very few parents ask, however - so next time you are at a parents evening make a teachers day and ask them the question!

4. Don't go over your time slot

Parents Evenings are one of my favourite activities of the academic year. It is great to discuss a pupil's progress with the people who care the most. However, they are exhausting. So, please remember that you are not the only parent the teacher will be seeing that evening. You could be one of 30 - so if you have a 5 minute slot, aim at 4 minutes and give the teacher 60 seconds to drink his tea and find his bearings before he meets with his 7.25.

5. Remember it is YOUR child you are discussing NOT YOU!

It is easy to take teachers' comments about your child personally. It is easy to feel that a constructive criticism of your little one is actually a personal criticism of you. It is also easy to assume that just because you enjoyed History, or hated Geography, your child will do the same. Try to put your child first and place them at the centre of the discussion.

Speak soon

JH

PS If you have a Year 6 pupil who is about to start secondary school you might like reading this post on how to prepare your Year 7 for big school.

It's Snowing!

THE WEEKEND PICTURE NO. 34

We love Snow Days!

It has been snowing almost non-stop here since 9am on Friday morning. It snowed so dramatically on Friday that all of our schools gave up the ghost and closed for the day before the snow closed Surrey's highways and byways to all traffic bar husky drawn sleds.

We visited the local golf club on Saturday morning to sled on it's fairways. The Dubmeister disappeared in a cloud of testosterone filled snowballs to join his best mate skidding down the blackest of black run hills whilst the lovely wife and I spent a very chilled morning (get it?) chatting with friends and cheering on The Signs of Spring as they giggled downhill.

It was perfect.

Speak soon

JH

How To Help Your Year 7 Start Big School

The Dubmeister's first day at Big School

This time next week 11 year old children (or 13 year olds if they are starting at a very posh school) will be quaking in their squeaky clean tight new school shoes as they set off for their first day at big school.

Unless you are one of the coolest of the cool, big school is a terrifying prospect for any self respecting child. For the parent of next week's Year 7's (or Lower 4th's if you are starting at the aforesaid posh school) it is even more so! So in the interests of easing you into life as a parent of a secondary age child here is Dad Etc's guide to getting your Year 7 ready for big school.

1. Find out the name of your son/daughter's form tutor and Head of Year

One of the biggest changes for parents going through the transition from Junior to Senior School is the dramatic drop in contact time with your little darling's teaching staff. You will be lucky to see their form tutor more than twice in an academic year and are unlikely to see the Head of Year at all unless there is a specific issue that you need to discuss.
However, a friendly form tutor can be a great asset. So, I recommend that you make contact with them - nothing more than a brief note in the Homework Diary to say hello - so that you stand out as a friendly parent - it could prove helpful in the longer term.

2. Get to know the school rules

Secondary school is a minefield of rules and regulations for your young one. So, it is our duty as parents to do what we can to support the school and our child in the rules that we can affect at home. Most schools will have a list of rules in the Homework Diary/ Planner - get to know them.
Some of the basic rules that we can help our son/ daughter to keep to are:

• Does the HW Diary need to be signed every week? If so, do it!
• What are the uniform rules? Make sure you know them - very handy for the future!
• What is the routine for absence from school? If they ask for a call on the first morning and a letter when they return to school - do it!

3. Keep on top of Homework

Homework is a fact of life at most schools. However, schools are not the fascist institutions that we believed them to be when we were 11 and 12. They do not expect our children to be working every hour that God sends to complete their graphs and essays. So, monitor their homework - are they getting any? If they are, how long is it taking? How long should it be taking? If it is regularly taking longer than advised then there is an issue - tell the school

4. Watch the Mobile Phone

The mobile phone has completely changed the experience for our children of adolescence. It is so easy for them now to keep in contact with their friends and research difficult homework tasks.

However, it has also come with Facebook, Messenger, Internet Porn and other nasties. 

Be very careful!

Watch what they are using it for and, 2 tips I was given by a colleague;

a) Never let them take their phones into their bedrooms at night - that way you have more of a chance of knowing what they are up to.

b) Insist that they make you one of their friends on Facebook.

5. TLC and Routines

Your little chap/chapesse is going to be absolutely knackered this term as they get into life as a little fish in an enormous and confusing pond. They will need lots of love and attention from you!

Get them to eat a big breakfast in the morning and get in their favourite food for the evenings.

Find a routine that works for your family so that they have some certainty in their lives.

Finally, on that first day, when you are sure that nobody is looking - give them a big hug and gulp back the tears until they are through the school gate.

Speak Soon

JH