Keeping Cool

The Weekend Picture No. 52

Splash Down!

As the UK basks in heatwave conditions we have been desparately seeking relief from 2 weeks of 25 degree plus temperatures.

We have experimented with windows open and windows closed. We have closed curtains in the middle of the day and dressed in outfits we wouldn't want to be seen in in public. We have even played havoc with the environment by turning on our car's disappointing aircon.

This weekend we went camping in the depths of Sussex. On the Saturday we visited one of those tree shrouded river banks that Mark Twain used to write about.

The Dubmeister and one of the Signs of Spring made use of a rope swing which appeared to have grown down from one the trees that shrouded the bank. The Dubmeister was particularly keen to fall from the swing into the water - doing it over and over again until his skin turned blue and his teeth chattered.

Tom Sawyer would have been proud.

Speak soon.
JH

Lost!

The Weekend Picture No. 51

As you know I was honoured to be listed as a finalist in this year's Brilliance in Blogging Family Blogger Award. The ceremony was in London on Friday night at an impressive venue called The Brewery in EC1Y 4QH.

The ceremony came at the end of an afternoon's conference opened by the lovely Kirsty Allsopp and featuring hints and tips on all things bloggy. I had to go to work on Friday so I didn't get to see any of the bloggy hints and tips. Instead I missed the 5.00pm train into London in order to catch the 5.30 and thereby make my journey much more exciting.

I got into London Waterloo precisely 3 minutes before I was meant to be in EC1Y 4QH so sprinted across the concourse, swore at the lack of underground maps, found an underground map, picked a route and then leapt onto the slowest underground train in London which wound it's unhurried way to The Barbican, exactly 29 minutes after I was meant to be supping cocktails with the blogging glitterati.

Fortunately, I had my iPhone 3G with me with it's friendly red pin in the map feature. It led me out of the station and 200 yards down a wrong turning and a red faced sprint back to the correct turning and an interminable tunnel.

I finally found the red pin.

Unfortunately the red pin was nowhere near The Brewery. Instead, it had sunk itself into the middle of one of those non-descript council estates you find on the edge of swanky London districts. I wandered disconsolately through the estate craning my ears to catch the sounds of the clinking of glasses and the buzz of witty repartee but soon realised the error of my ways and sought solace in the presence of a friendly London cabbie.

I was evidently in the wrong bit of EC1Y 4QH and was perspiring gently by the time I crashed through the revolving doors of The Brewery, 50 minutes late, blinking into a world of bright lights, bright dresses and even brighter tans.

I expected everybody to turn, tutting towards me, tapping their tablets to tick me off. But Britmums Live was in full flow. The free booze was disappearing as quickly as booze at a blogging event and the volume had been raised to 11. A stray Daddy Blogger adrift in a sea of Mums was unremarkable and it was with a degree of relief that I sank into my chair to await my fate.

Speak soon
JH

PS - No, I didnt win - hence the rather clever title! The Family Blogger 2013 is Mum In The South - you can read her brilliant story of a recent birthday party here. But I did meet some interesting people and would urge you to visit their blogs - try Mutterings of a Fool and Babberblog for blogs by Dads with toddlers, Best Dad I Can Be for some of the funniest writing out there and Life as a Widower - the winner of the Fresh Voice category for his incredibly moving recounting of life in the eight months since he lost his wife, the mother to his 2 year old son.

One Week To Go!

The Weekend Picture No. 50

In exactly one week's time My Lovely Wife and I will be climbing 24 peaks in the Lake District in exactly 24 hours in order to raise money for Caring Matters Now. We signed up for this challenge over a year ago and have been training for it since last September.

And it's nearly here!

There are two possible reactions to this. You can either shrug your shoulders and just get on with it.

Or you can panic, ask your mum for a sick note and hide under the duvet.

I am tempted to opt for the latter. However, my Mum has chosen this weekend as the weekend when she MUST take a week away in Wales - so the sick note is out of the question.

I guess we need to just get on with it.

So, on Friday afternoon we will be piling into the car and heading north to Hawkshead in the Lake District where we will meet the rest of the team, be briefed and try to sleep before embarking on the challenge.

Over the following weekend we will ascend a total of 13,986 feet and walk for two 12 hour stretches. We have both put in a lot of training. However, to be frank, we have no idea what we are letting ourselves in for!

The money we raise will be going to support the work of this fantastic little charity that is so close to our hearts. You can find out more about their work here. The team we are going with have already raised enough to pay for a Research Assistant to look into possible treatments for the condition and it is great to know that every penny raised will be of value. Thankyou to all those of you who have already sponsored us. If you have not yet done so - and would like to - then you can click here to visit our Just Giving page.

Thankyou.

Speak soon

JH

Oh, I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside!

The Weekend Picture No. 49

E and the Dubmeister beside the seaside, beside the sea

It was hot yesterday so we did what all right thinking English men and women should have done.

We went to the seaside.

We piled down the A3 to Southsea where we joined the throngs and had a great day for the following reasons:

1. The seaside is much nicer than the town when it is hot.

2. Southsea has Clarence Pier which sells food that is cooked in layers of fat and grease and tastes all the better for it.

3. Clarence Pier has an 80's throwback fun fair with rides that make you scream and/ or puke (if you have indulged in a number 2 (see above)) and a sound system which features up and coming artists like Duran Duran, Belinda Carlisle and Sinitta.

4. If you get bored of number 3 you can always hang out next to the hovercraft terminal and try to avoid getting sprayed as it powers into it's landing station.

5. The D-Day museum is fascinating, moving and eye-opening.

6. It didn't rain once!

Speak soon

JH

My Kids Have Turned Me Into A Criminal

The (Bank Holiday) Weekend Picture No. 48

The Crime Scene

It all started back on 31st March. Since then my criminal activity has threatened to take over my life. It has led to me lying, covering my tracks and jumping at the sound of approaching footsteps.

I am not proud of myself.

But, equally, I do not feel that I am totally to blame for this life of crime into which I have found myself thrust. Like so many who have gone before me I feel that the root cause of my criminal behaviour is not found within my nature but within the nurture that my family have provided.

In this case I blame my kids.

In March my 3 growing children were given a mountain of chocolate to celebrate Jesus's resurrection. I even wrote a post about the quantity of sweet stuffs with which they had been blessed.

Now, when I was a growing kid a ton of chocolate would have been an excuse for me to gorge myself until I was hyperactive and then sick on Mum's favourite rug. I was a normal child with a consideration for others.

My children are not like that.

The picture above is the chocolate that remains in our house TODAY - 8 weeks later!!

They still have chocolate - 8 weeks on. How does that happen?

So, for the past 8 weeks I have been bothered by the gnawing hunger that comes when you are within feet of unclaimed chocolate which my children have (no doubt) deliberately left within reach of their weak willed father.

And, for the past 8 weeks I have been nibbling at the edges of their eggs, their bunnies and their assorted Easter orientated treats and, like the hardened criminal I am, covering my tracks (or tooth marks).

And yet, still we have chocolate left in the house.

Do these kids have no consideration? Do they not realise what they are doing to their own father?

Speak soon (unless they catch me first)
JH

PS You may have noticed that I have a new badge on my blog this week. I am in the final of the BiBs Family Blogger of the Year Award - Wahoo!! Thankyou so much to everybody who voted for me. The decision will be made on the 21st June - so watch this space, cross your fingers and send large wads of cash to the judges (the last comment was clearly a joke) You can find out more about the award and the quality competition I am up against by clicking here.

When You're There, Be There

The Weekend Picture No. 47

From www.blog.laptopmag.com

I love my iphone and I love my kids.

 

I love spending time with my kids and I am rarely, if ever parted from my iphone.

 

In fact, if I am parted from my iphone then I tend to come out all in a fluster.

 

I am often, on the other hand, parted from my kids. And I am rarely to be found all of a fluster when I am parted from them.

 

As a result, I was challenged this morning by the minister at my church when he relayed some advice he had been given this week.

 

"When you are with your kids, are you really with them? Or is your attention distracted by the device in your pocket/ on your coffee table."

 

That challenged me because I often find myself distracted by emails pinging in, breaking news stories on my Sky News App or by tweets and other equally vital missives from the outside world that have found me because my iphone has made me permanently available. Or rather, because I have allowed my iphone to make me permanently available.

 

So, I have made a pledge. When I am with my kids and my lovely wife my iphone will have to play second fiddle. It may find itself being shut in a drawer or even being switched off.

 

When I am with them - I will really be with them.

 

The outside world can wait.

 

Speak soon

JH

The Joy and Pain of Saving

The Weekend Picture No. 46

M with her prize

The Signs of Spring have different attitudes to money. M is a saver. She likes to scrimp and save, watch the pennies and hoard great piles of copper coins in the hope that they will turn into a treasure of great worth given the passage of time.

E on the other hand is a spender. Money burns holes in the size of her pockets the size of Moshi Monster collecting cards. She is a sucker for keeping up with the Joneses and would far rather spend her cash than save.

Until this weekend it has appeared that E's spend today, worry tomorrow attitude has reaped dividends as she can boast the latest Blott rubber and other brand specific moulded plastic items whilst M has slipped behind the times as she squirrelled away pocket money and birthday/ xmas earnings in her Enormous Crocodile money box and avoided toy shops and other emporia of temptation.

That is until this weekend when The Kindle arrived!

M has been saving up for a Kindle for as long as she has been on this planet. She loves reading and spotted a friend with one 200 years ago and has ever since set her heart on owning this most unlikely of 10 year old "must-have gadgets" She reached her £69 target on Wednesday (when she found a £10 note from Christmas in a forgotten corner of her bedroom). We immediately paid for it.It arrived on Saturday! M can't take her nose out of it.

Is E proud of her sister's saving habits?
Has E been inspired to take a leaf out of M's book and start saving for a rainy day?

Has she heck!

E can't bear it.

E wants a Kindle and E wants one now. She does not want to save "because it will take ages".

Her brand specific plastic moulded items have been forgotten and replaced in her affections by The Kindle!

It's tough growing up.

Speak soon
JH

Terrific Tomatoes!

The Weekend Picture No. 45

They're growing Dad!

We have been enjoying the unseasonable bank holiday sunshine this weekend. As soon bank holiday comes round we join the hordes at our local DIY superstore, don gardening gloves and paint specked clothes and do something useful in the garden

This weekend we have been mostly cutting grass, weeding flower beds and killing ants.

E and I have also been lovingly tending the tomato plants we have been growing as part of Heinz Tomato Ketchup's Grow Your Own campaign. They sent us seeds, a watering can and a natty pair of branded gloves - all modelled by the green fingered E - and have set us the challenge of growing our own tomatoes.

Well, not being one to shirk the challenge of communing with nature and producing a bountiful harvest, I have enlisted the kids to help me grow tomatoes and will keep you updated as to our progress over the coming months - Heinz have promised us a reward if we do so - so it's everything to play for!

Speak soon
JH

PS I am delighted to announce that Dad Etc has been shortlisted for the Brilliance in BloggingFamily Blogger Award run by Britmums - Thank you everybody who has voted for me already. I am up against some very tough competition (15 mummy bloggers and me - it takes a brave man!) so would be eternally in your debt if you felt that this blog was worth a vote. You can vote by clicking on the button on the top right of the page or by clicking here. There is only a week left to cast your vote so please don't delay but vote today - it takes a matter of seconds and would make my life complete. Thank you so much - and fingers crossed.

Please Vote For My Dad

The Weekend Picture No. 44

Vote Dad Etc ... Please!

I got a very nice surprise on Monday.

On Monday I discovered that I had been shortlisted for an award.

I have never been shortlisted for an award before so did not know what it would feel like.

Now that I have been shortlisted I can tell you that it feels great!

The award I have been shortlisted for is the "Brilliance in Blogging" Family Blogger Award. I am one of 16 blogs vying for your vote to be named family blog of the year!

To be shortlisted I needed to be nominated first - so if you nominated me - THANK YOU.

I now have one more favour to ask - before you click off this page - would you mind casting your vote please? All you need to do is click on this link, scroll about half way down the page and tick Dad Etc in the list of Family blogs.

That's it, job done!

If this is the first time you have visited Dad Etc and you are not sure whether you want to vote for me then here are three of my favourite posts - have a read and then ... well, it's up to you.

This is the post when my 7 year old daughter, E, teaches me the importance of empathy for our fellow man.
In this post "The Signs of Spring" (my daughters) can't help competing with each other.
And in this post I share a secret I was once taught to a happy marriage.

Thanks so much again.

Speak soon
JH

That Is a Mad Eye Deer

The Weekend Picture No. 43

Mad Eye Deer at Longleat

We were at Longleat Safari Park two weeks ago.

We saw lions, rhinoceroses and hippoes. Our car was sat on by monkeys and we had meerkats ducking between our feet. We laughed at the porcupines and the anteater.

But the highlight for the Dubmeister was Mad Eye Deer. Halfway round you get to pay to feed the deer. You pull onto the side of the road and, in a reverse of a MacDonalds' Drive Thru the Deer gather by your car window, mouths open, napkins around their necks and knives and forks at the ready.

The greediest of the deer was Mad Eye who worked her way through our bag of treats without pausing for breath.

She is called Mad Eye Deer because  ... Well, you see if you can work it out.

Speak soon

JH

In Praise Of The Children's Party Industry

The Weekend Picture No. 42

Can you guess how old E is?

E had her 8th birthday party today. Since she could speak she has been desperate to have a birthday party at our fabulous local leisure centre. The response has always been: "Not until you're 8". Well, now E has turned 8 we had run out of excuses so Daddy got onto the phone with his flexible friend and booked a Secret Agent party for 14 excited little girls for today.

We have never had birthday parties so easy as we did today.

We wrote the invitations.
We posted the invitations.
We paid the money. And that was about it. Because once we turned up this afternoon we mostly just stood and watched.

And then we came home.

The kids had a great time. Our house didn't get trashed and somebody else cut the crusts off the sandwiches.

It started getting a little hairy at 4.40 when the party had 10 minutes left to run and the food had all gone - but a quick game of Chinese Whispers averted any meltdowns and eased us home to parental pick up time.

We have always loved hosting children's parties but there is a lot to be said for chucking cash at it instead.

Speak soon
JH

Happy Easter!

The Weekend Picture No. 40

19 eggs divided by 3 kids equals hyperactivity

As you know we have three children.

Between them they have managed to garner 19 Easter Eggs this season. That is despite our local supermarkets suffering from an Easter Egg famine from Good Friday onwards.

That is 6.3 (recurring) eggs each.

Is that some kind of record?

Speak soon
JH

The Day My Daughter Made Me Think

The Weekend Picture No. 39

I went to London with 7 year old E yesterday. We had a lovely afternoon with our friends from the charity Caring Matters Now (read about the charity challenge my lovely wife and I have signed up for here) and then on the way home I promised her a Macdonalds milk shake.

We were walking through a rainy Covent Garden discussing which flavour she might choose when we walked past a man sat on the pavement, cap upturned. He asked me if I had a few pennies I could spare and I lied that I didn't and that I was very sorry.

As we walked away and I entered into an internal dialogue about how I was right to have said no because he would only have spent the money on drugs E interrupted my train of thought by saying something that made me think.

"I feel really sorry for that man"

"Who?" I asked, knowing exactly who she meant.

"That man we just walked past, the one sitting on the wet pavement. I feel really sorry for him."

"Yes, it's very sad," I said, "why do you feel so sorry for him?"

"Well, because he's got nothing and he's sat in this really rich place, and he's got nothing. It's really sad... Can we give him some money?"

And I turned and looked at her, and I felt the rain dripping down my collar and I watched the wealth pushing past us, and I thought to myself; "She is absolutely right, it is tragic that this guy is sat on a wet pavement in the middle of Covent Garden and he is being forced to beg for money. And here I am discussing flavours of a drink I want to buy my little girl which she doesn't really need and I am lying to a guy who actually needs the money. And it takes a 7 year old to point out what I should have done all along."

So, I dug into my pocket and we made our way back up the pavement and I gave E the quid which she dropped into his pathetic upturned hat and as we turned to go I squeezed her hand because I am so proud of the girl she is becoming.

Speak soon
JH

To The Best Mum In The World

The Weekend Picture No. 38

I thought I would let the Dubmeister and the Signs of Spring write today's post. These are the messages they wrote into their cards for my lovely wife this morning:

The Dubmeister  wrote:

Thankyou for being such an AMAZING mum, and for helping me even when I stropped and slammed the door. (I didn't mean it)

M slipped the following letter into her card:

You are the best mummy in the world, you could break the world record for chatting, you could be the best ever teacher, you can win the Great British Bake Off and you are good at keeping cheerful when it's raining at Legoland.

She also made a multi-coloured button bracelet.

E made a 3D card with the message:

"I love you" said M. "I Love you even more" said E. "You are funny always" said W. "You are like a butterfly." said Daddy.

Speak soon
JH

Me and Usain Bolt

The Weekend Picture No. 37

It was my birthday last week and one of the treats of the day was the card the children put together for me. They say that those closest to you know you best and I think that the card they created clearly indicates that.

Some may say that Usain and I have little in common.

However, I would disagree and say that you only need look at the picture (and squint a little) and we could almost be twins.

Speak soon (if you can catch me!)

UB

The One With The Cat, The Mountain and The Sick Bowl

THE WEEKEND PICTURE NO. 36

The Signs of Spring before the "Sick Bowl Incident"

We have had an eventful week.

My lovely wife and I are in training for a midsummer charity challenge - the climbing of 24 peaks in 24 hours in order to raise money for the charity Caring Matters Now (click on the links to find out more) - so we planned a fantastic 4 days with friends in Snowdonia National Park where we would climb mountains, chill out with our favourite people and feel much better about the challenge to take place this week.

That didn't happen.

First Murphy the cat got dangerously ill on Sunday night (why do they always get dangerously ill when the regular vet is closed!) - so we had to rush him to the emergency vet in order to pay them as much money as possible and confine him to pussy cat hospital for 3 days. Murphy was so ill that it was possible that we could lose him so the decision was made that I would stay home and look after him once he was allowed out. So, no Snowdonia for me.

Wednesday morning the rest of the family drove off into the distance for 4 days of mountain climbing, chilling and feeling better about things. I retreated into my man cave and waited for news of my furry friend.

Furry friend survived and is now carrying on as if nothing has happened (he doesn't have an overdraft!)

Days 1 and 2 went swimmingly for the lovely wife, the signs of spring and the Dubmeister - a walk up the mountain, lots of chilling and lots of mutual support that the whole challenge wouldn't be so bad after all.

Then came day 3.

Then came the vomiting bug.

The bug which swept through the children like some medieval plague. One by one they fell to the charms of the sick bowl.

Things got so bad that the decision was made to leave 1 day early and so on Friday (just after I had posted my Dad Alone! confession) the call came that they were coming home.

We have spent the weekend feeling sorry for ourselves and wishing that we were as carefree as Murphy, the death cheating feline.

Speak soon

JH

It's Snowing!

THE WEEKEND PICTURE NO. 34

We love Snow Days!

It has been snowing almost non-stop here since 9am on Friday morning. It snowed so dramatically on Friday that all of our schools gave up the ghost and closed for the day before the snow closed Surrey's highways and byways to all traffic bar husky drawn sleds.

We visited the local golf club on Saturday morning to sled on it's fairways. The Dubmeister disappeared in a cloud of testosterone filled snowballs to join his best mate skidding down the blackest of black run hills whilst the lovely wife and I spent a very chilled morning (get it?) chatting with friends and cheering on The Signs of Spring as they giggled downhill.

It was perfect.

Speak soon

JH

"Daddy, can I have a trumpet?"

THE WEEKEND PICTURE NO.33

E's new toy

12 months ago E was asked which instrument she would like to learn to play.

"Trumpet", she answered immediately.

So, as diligent parents we were straight on to the local trumpet teacher to get our little prodigy signed up for lessons.

"Sorry," came the response, "no trumpet until 7 - come back in a year."

Those twelve months have ticked past very slowly for E. But yesterday, came the moment for which she had been waiting. 12 months is an eternity for a 7 year old.

Yesterday, we picked up E's first trumpet. Tomorrow she has her first lesson. She has spent most of the last 24 hours with the trumpet at her side (or at her lips), making elephant noises as she marches round the house making her presence felt.

Neither I nor my lovely wife can make any sound out of the thing so we are convinced that E's trumpeting efforts indicate that we must have a genius on our hands.

Speak soon

JH

Cute Cat In Box Shock

THE WEEKEND PICTURE NO. 32

Thanks for helping Woody!

We have builders arriving on Wednesday to turn our house upside down, make a mess and a lot of unnecessary noise involving power tools before eventually making our house even nicer than it is already.

In preparation for their visit we have been emptying all of our worldly possessions into cardboard boxes and walking around empty rooms listening to the sound of our echoing footsteps.

Our cats, Woody and Murphy, come into their own whenever cardboard boxes are involved. Cardboard boxes are clearly more comfortable than baskets, blankets and beds so whenever we try to load up a box with CDs we don't listen to any more we see their furry faces grinning dozily back at us - as shown in the exhibit above.

More hilarious builder type escapades to come soon.

Speak soon
JH

The 2012 Bad Picture Quiz of the Year

2012 was a year to live long in the memory. The Olympics, the Paralympics, the Diamond Jubilee and Hurricane Sandy all competed for the attention of the cameraman and woman. As the year drew to a close glossy journals padded out their pages with gorgeous photographs that perfectly captured the moment. But, for everyone of those perfect pictures there are at least 100 stills which never saw the light of day, being doomed to be deleted before they made the transfer from camera to PC. This quiz is a tribute to those terrible pictures we all take thousands of every year.

Pictured below are 4 of the major events of the year. Can you identify which once in a lifetime moment they depict? Answers at the bottom of the post. Good luck!

Question 1 - This picture was taken after one of the greatest nights in British sporting
history - what had just happened?

Question 2 - My Mum took this snap just before a great ceremonial occasion.
Which occasion did her camera miss?

Question 3 - A tableau of one of the TV hits of the year - created by E.
Which programme is it?

Question 4 - In this picture The Signs of Spring struggle to get a view of what??

Speak Soon

JH

PS The answers are: Q1 is from "Super Saturday" - my parents were lucky enough to be in the Olympic Stadium on the night Mo Farah, Jess Ennis and Greg Rutherford struck gold. Q2 - the Royal Regatta on the Thames. Q3 - "The Voice" was massive in our household during April - until the auditions finished. Q4 - Waiting for the Olympic flame.